Synaesthesia: the unusual reason behind my love of neutral decor
I originally published this post back in 2018, but in recent weeks I’ve seen yet more Instagram and magazine pieces pushing the idea that neutral decor is bland and soulless. So, I feel it’s time to update and reshare it – and explain why I find the continuing ‘beige is boring’ narrative so frustrating.
If you’ve spent any amount of time looking through this blog, you’ll have noticed that I’m always drawn towards calming, neutral hues. There are many reasons for this: they’re timeless and elegant, they create a versatile base that works with pretty much anything, and they help turn our homes into restful sanctuaries where we can unwind from the stresses and strains of our busy lives. But there’s another factor, too, and that’s a neurological condition called synaesthesia.
If you haven’t heard of synaesthesia before, it’s where senses or cognitive pathways overlap, and the triggering of one leads to the involuntary triggering of another. It affects roughly one person in every 2,000 and can manifest itself in all sorts of different ways: some people perceive taste when they hear a sound, others might ‘smell’ touch. In my case, it means I see each letter, number and day of the week as a different colour – and not just ‘green’ or ‘red’, but very specific hues. Tuesday, for example, is pea green, whereas Thursday is a darker forest green; the letter ‘b’ is bright postbox red, while ‘u’ is a brown-based, brick-like red.
Above: how I see the alphabet (as accurately as I can render on a screen, anyway!)
My form of synaesthesia is known as grapheme-colour synaesthesia, and it’s such a natural part of my life that I reached my late teens before I realised it was unusual. I see it largely as a positive thing: it’s given me a strong appreciation of the subtle differences between colours and I think it’s one of the reasons I’m so interested in design, photography and other visually creative things. I also suspect it lies behind my love of language (and I mean a full-on geeky interest in spelling and grammar!), and it’s certainly helped me as a writer and editor. I can instantly spot typos because the colours I’d normally associate with a particular word appear in the wrong order – I’d notice straight away if ‘beautiful’ was written ‘beuatiful’, for instance, as the steely blue of the ‘a’ wouldn’t be in the right place. I also tend to have a very good memory for phone numbers, birthdays and names.
But there are downsides, as this fascinating BBC article on synaesthesia shows. I certainly don’t have it to the same extent as the doctor featured, and the whole ‘mirror-touch’ thing sounds terrifying, but it gives you an idea of how the condition can affect daily life.
I’m constantly bombarded by colour. As I write this, the hue of every single letter is flashing through my mind, and the same thing happens when I’m reading, talking and even just thinking to myself. As a result, I find it particularly hard to switch off, so I like my home to be a muted, minimalist space – an antidote to the never-ending rainbow dancing around inside my head. It’s why I tend to decorate with warm off-whites and gentle beiges and why, when I do incorporate other colours, they’re generally desaturated or quietened with muddy brown or grey undertones. It’s also why I display books with their spines facing inwards. I’ve always been an avid reader, and this is a way for me to have my much-loved book collection close at hand without finding all the different colours of the covers jarring and stressful.
Above: the neutral living room and book-shelf display in our former home
I’m not alone in using neutrals to find respite from synaesthesia. Fellow interiors blogger Cate St Hill has the same variant of the condition as I do and speaks of very similar experiences:
“I see letters and numbers as colours, so each one has its own hue. When I’m reading I still see the words as black and white – they don’t appear in technicolour – but each phrase or word has a colourful aura. I also associate colours with strong emotions and feelings – red with danger and warnings, yellow with alertness, for example – so I find the more neutral end of the colour spectrum much more calming and less of a sensory overload.”
Like me, Cate believes synaesthesia has aided her career in design, helping her to understand which colours work well together and how to set up a balanced composition when styling. And I was intrigued to learn that the aura she associates with the word ‘home’ is itself fairly muted – a combination of dusty greens, greys and soft yellows.
Above: the mood board for the renovation of our new home, which you can read about here
A quick trawl of online pieces written by other grapheme-colour synaesthetes suggests we’re fairly evenly split between those who love being surrounded by lots of colour and those who, like me and Cate, need a break from it. And I think that just proves that the palettes we use in our homes are very personal choices, influenced by an array of different considerations. There needs to be a much greater awareness in general about the impact of neurodivergency on decor preferences, and an understanding that for some people avoiding sensory overload is a major factor. The insinuation that those of us who opt for neutrals are dull and unadventurous is, frankly, quite offensive.
Even if you don’t have a condition such as synaesthesia, I think it’s essential to remember that you’re free to decorate your own home in whatever way you want, without judgement from others. If you love strong colour, then great; if you prefer neutrals and muted tones, that’s great too. I talk in both my books about the importance of finding hues that connect with you on an emotional level, and how there’s no ‘one-size-fits-all’ approach when it comes to choosing a colour palette or any other aspect of interior design. At the end of the day, all that matters is what makes you feel happy and comfortable – please don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
All images by Abi Dare
Thanks so much for sharing your story – very inspiring. For different reasons, we also happen to love muted colours in the home! The’re great for creating a soothing and tranquil environment.
A pleasure! And I definitely agree – muted colours help make a home into a sanctuary
Thank you for sharing this personal story. I have never heard of synaesthesia so it was interesting to learn what it was and how you deal with it… I am sure there are many people who can relate to your story! PS your home is absolutely beautiful!
Thanks so much for the kind words! It’s so normal for me that it took years for me to realise that most other people don’t see things in the same way! I wouldn’t change it though.
This is so interesting – especially that Cate has the same thing when your tastes are so similar. I think you’re on to something with the idea that synaesthesia is more common in creative people – I’m sure I’ve read something similar before but I can’t think where.
Thanks Emma! I’d love to speak to more people with synaesthesia and find out what their experiences are, though I should imagine there are many who don’t even realise they have it!
A friend commented this on Facebook and its so like me its spooky. I honestly could have written this myself! I was in my early twenties before I realised other people didn’t see days of the week, months etc as colours (and you’re so right – very specific shades that almost defy description). I’ve never paid much attention to it. But I too have a (very) monochrome minimalist house and tastes (and I work in the creative industries). I love colour, and at the risk of sounding a bit nuts I’ve always suspected I see it more vividly than a lot of other people, but I can’t have it around me or on me. I’ve never thought this was connected to the synaesthesIs – until reading your post!
That sounds just like me! I know I can instantly spot the differences between very similar shades in a way others can’t, and it’s certainly given me an appreciation of colour. I love seeing how other people use it their homes – I just couldn’t have much in my own!
I would love to know if we’re the only ones, ha! I’m sure some people might have synaesthesia and not really realise it. Love that we have different colours for the letters, Thursday is green for me but a is definitely bright pillar box red 😉 I wonder what influences those colours, it’s fascinating! x
I’ve always wondered the same – there must be so many others out there who don’t realise that the way they see things is unusual. And where the different colours come from is so intriguing – they’re so specific and so defined, but I have know idea what led to them! x
This blows my mind, thank you for sharing this. Hopefully it will help others who might not even realise they have synaesthesia. By the way, I totally understand why you would need to tone down colours around you. Also very fascinating that you would associate specific colours to letters, days of the week etc.
Thanks – so glad you found it interesting. It’s so natural for me that I can’t imagine anything else! But yes muted decor is definitely a much-needed antidote x
Wow Abi, what an interesting condition to have. And how funny that Cate has it too. Your styles are so similar and it makes total sense that perceiving all these colours would make you want to have a calm and neutral home.
Thanks Stacey! It’s so natural to me that I always find it strange that other people find it so interesting! But it’s nice to meet other people and learn about their experiences too x
Wow, this is an amazing post – thank you for sharing. Can totally understand the need for a muted environment when your internal world is so colourful. 🙂
A pleasure! So glad you found it interesting x
Wow so interesting to hear about this! I’d never even heard about this condition before. Loved the post and I love your greys and neutrals!
Thanks so much for the kind words! It’s so natural to me that I forget it must sound so strange to other people. I’m so glad you liked the post, anywayx
Abi, how fascinating! Thank you for sharing and educating us! I can’t believe – 1 in 2000 people have it, and we haven’t heard of it before? Just another reminder to appreciate our differences…
So glad you found it interesting! I don’t think many people have heard of it, and I reckon there must be loads of people who have it and don’t realise x
I just love this grey and white decor. Lovely pictures. Thanks for sharing this post.
Thanks so much! A pleasure
It’s so interesting to read about the condition and how neutral decor actually helps you. As I was reading I was thinking “I wonder if Cate…” and then Cate popped up indeed. I’m very familiar with visual perceptual conditions, but this is the first time I learn about how you need to disconnect from overstimulation. Thanks for sharing this.
It’s so interesting you thought that! I’d love to know if there are more grey-lovers who also have it, as I’m aware a sample size of two isn’t very scientific… An interesting co-incidence though.
I too HAVE grapheme synesthesia and did not discover that not everyone had it until the age of 18/19. I am now 60 and it has got less pronounced over the years. I too love to decorate my house in neutrals, mostly white, black, beige and green/grey tones. I also wear black 95% of the time and have done for most of my life. I have only recently began to wonder whether my love of neutral and calm palettes is because of the synesthesia and came across your post after doing a google search. Stupid I know but I have sometimes felt a bit embarrassed by my colour choices and wonder whether people feel I am lacking in imagination. I wonder this myself but as hard as I try I do not want colour around me and now see this is probably because a see so much colour in my head.
Thanks so much for your comment Marlena – it’s always great to meet fellow synesthetes, and it’s interesting to hear how similar your experiences are to mine. Please never be embarrassed by your decor choices – how we decorate our homes is such a personal thing and the only thing that really matters is that you like it and feel comfortable in your surroundings. As much as I like seeing how other people use colour in their homes, I’m just like you and wouldn’t be able to relax with lots of it in my own. Neutrals needn’t be boring, either – in fact I think they look great and still allow for lots of imagination!
Oh my goodness – this resonates completely with me. I see days, months in colour. I also feel calmer when people dress in a colour my brain “likes”. Find it so hard to describe! I’m really struggling with decorating and furnishing a couple of key areas in our house and wonder if what you talk about may be contributing. All I know is I love green! Thank you for writing about this
Your experiences sound very similar to mine! Finding colours that work can be so tricky – my advice would be to work out how you want to feel in each space, and then choose a colour that does that for you. It’s different for everyone, and it’s a really personal thing – although probably a bit more to consider for you and me than many other people 😉